Love is great when everything is going according to your plans, but what happens when you find yourself alone?  I wanted to write this article to use my voice to shed light on this topic. If there are any misconceptions, I’m going to nip them in the bud now, Love does not hurt! Abuse of any kind is unacceptable and you have to find the strength to leave. This topic is often overlooked, pushed under the rug or banned but why?

You know what, the sad thing about this article is I may catch some back-lash but it’s okay, for those that know me, I’m used to it by now. I promised myself that I was going to let the truth set me free,  so here goes. The problem that upsets me about some of my friends going through this situation is they haven’t had enough, and it’s sad to say but you can’t make a person leave.  I have been there giving encouraging words, offering my advice, words of wisdom, but no avail. She wasn’t done with him; he definitely wasn’t done with her, and it ultimately cost her, her life. Let me state this article isn’t catering to any specific gender there is abuse from both ends of the spectrum… how we choose to deal with it, is up to individual. Me, I choose LIFE!

While writing this I’m thinking to myself what could I have done to prevent it, were there signs I didn’t see?  I saw them all, and felt as though I did nothing. Maybe if I called the police (which had been done before by her mom) things would definitely be different and she would here. She just kept going BACK, for the life of me and her children, I couldn’t understand there was NOTHING anyone could say to make her leave. I got frustrated and I left, I left that friendship, looking back that was definitely not the way to handle things. I think back to all the conversation we had and I knew she wanted better but she refused help. He hits her, she hits him, he hits the children, she hits him… I did nothing, I watched because I couldn’t get through to her, so I lost her.

If you know of anybody that is going through any type of abuse, women, men (yes men get abused too) it isn’t always physical, there’s verbal, mental, spiritual, child abuse/neglect.,do something because it can save a life. If they continue to be stubborn, stay and fight don’t throw in the towel, or you might find yourself throwing dirt on a grave. ABUSE of any kind is SERIOUS so treat it as such. It’s not a JOKE, it’s not FUNNY, nor is it a GAME! If you are a parent you don’t have to STAY in an abusive relationship for the sake of your children, they see and hear everything and it will affect them in the years to come! So let’s not use that as an excuse anymore, leave NOW, before DEATH is your only way out!

To find out how you can help, or to receive help:

Hmm, I guess I’ll start my Monday off like any other Monday, Although it’s the first Monday of the New Year.  I wanted to pose a question; I have been thinking about it for a while, so what better time to start then now.  Why can’t we SUPPORT one another?  I always try my best to support others,  if I’m made aware  of their project, career goals, dreams and aspirations, I will give them encouraging words and tell others who may be interested in those particular products or services but when it comes down to it, I don’t get the same thing in return.  I don’t want to use the word HATER, because if you ask me I have none that word is obsolete in my vocabulary, meaning it doesn’t exist.  I stop using it about a couple of months ago because it gives people the right to think that EVERYONE is “hating,” on them and that is totally not the case.

I have stopped communication with friends because they weren’t supportive of me but I was supportive of them and although I know I don’t need anyone to validate me but I’m saying hey “show some love,” is that too much to ask?  If there is a deal, a sale, free stuff, or if I know about anything that could possible enhance or change one’s life, I’m on it!  I have hit people in their inbox (Facebook, Twitter, etc) to let them know that “hey I know you have interest in this,” so I thought it would be great if you tried this or that!  I want people to succeed it’s just the way that I’ve been taught. I was told to pray for what others believe in and when I pray at night I’m most sure to do that, it’s just in my nature or either I’m really mature.  Everybody in life is NOT going to be against what you’re doing, nor is everyone going to support you or what you’re doing we just have to be able to KEEP going and NEVER give up!

I often say I love what I do (hair, nails, make-up, writing, sewing, etc) I literally do them all, and whether you support me or not. I’m still going to do those things. I realize that I am helping someone out. I’m helping someone save money, teaching them a new trait or skill or peaking their interest in something they never thought about.  It is a wonderful feeling for people to say “thank you,” or what you you’ve said or did really helped me but in the event it doesn’t go that far or you don’t get a “pat on the back” from others, my BRA is  all the support I’ll need.  As this year unfolds, try to support each other a little more, we could all use it and some more than others. I’m so ready to see where this year takes me, so STAY TUNED!

Dr. Divah

First of all, I’d like to know where did the rest of this year go?  It’s not about a New Year to me, but you do realize  a decade has passed and we are going into another one? Think back 10 years, what were you doing then, and what are you doing now? I can start off by saying there was no Facebook, or Myspace but we managed to survive. (I don’t know how, though) This has definitely been the most tedious decade of my adult life, nevertheless, I’m blessed.  I managed to graduate high school with my Cosmetology License, undergrad, grad school and I am now in pursuit of my PhD. I don’t know where God will lead me in the next 10 years but I hope it is just as awesome as this one has been. All of my trials and tribulations made me who I am today; I no longer ask God to take me out of situations because the best way out is through!  I look back and He had a plan from the beginning, it wasn’t clear to me back then, but now I can see clearly.

Today I was asked, “what are your resolutions for the new year,” let’s just say I’m not making any. Don’t let me discourage any of you that are going to make them.  I usually hear the same ones every year (to stop smoking, go to church more, stop drinking, etc) and needless to say in the middle of January you have already begun doing those same things yet again, which is what got you to this point. To me it’s all about making LIFE CHANGES, because a lot can happen in a year but if you start by taking your focus off of the New Year and direct that energy and time and transport it over to making LIFE CHANGES, I think you’d feel much better.

Sometimes I really wish I knew what the future holds, but I don’t. The only thing I can do it keep going and praying.  He (God) never ceases to amaze me.  I know that he’s real, I’ve seen the miracles and I have them happen to me and my family! Thank you God for sparing me and I’m so unworthy!  In the next 10 I’m looking forward to the possibility of starting a family and watching my niece grow up, watching my brother’s career take off, and my mother sipping her lemonade while enjoying it all! For those of you who thought you’ve seen all of my TALENTS, beware, you haven’t seen nothing yet: The best is yet to come. Goodbye 2010 and welcome 2011 #whomadd

New Year- New BLESSINGS, New Promotions, New Businesses, New Friends, New Enemies, New Levels, New Houses, New Cars, New Clothes, New Schools, to some New Family but there is one thing that will NEVER BE NEW and that’s YOU LORD! Although our surroundings maybe new/change, YOU REMAIN THE SAME. I’m thanking you in advance for all that you are going to do in the lives of myself, my Family, and Friends in 2011. Happy New Year!

Urbandictionary.com defines the term Baby Mama to mean: “The mother of your child(ren), whom you did not marry and with whom you are not currently involved, but is it demeaning? Let’s not forget that in 2008 First Lady, Michelle Obama was referred to by this term and if you don’t know what incident I’m referring to, do your research. First off let me state that I’m very neutral when it come down to this subject matter.  In other words, I don’t have any children and this topic is strictly based upon revelations and personal experiences that I’ve seen and have heard. Even if I did have children, it wouldn’t matter because I still wouldn’t like the term, “BABY MOMMA.”  I’m not being biased because I’m a woman, I’m being real! I can not stand the word “BABY MOMMA,” when I hear it it’s always a negative connotation associated with it. Is it to hard to say “mother of my children,” I think not! It’s almost like I’m preparing for battle when I hear “my baby momma,” and I’m like why? Every time I hear a guys say “my baby momma” I CHECK HIM! The media tends to glorify the term and it’s not endearing. So in 2011, I’d like to ban the term, “BABY MOMMA” only because the media uses it to refer to African-American women and NO other CULTURES.Oh and let’s not forget BABY DADDY, we have to stop EATING what the MEDIA is feeding us!

Which brings me to my next point, I watch Teen Mom on MTV and let me say I’m addicted to the show. I did notice that there aren’t any young African-American mothers represented on the show, to me, It doesn’t matter about your culture, we  all have been dealing with the issues of teenage pregnancy for a while. I’m sure all cultures have stories to share with the world but as soon as pregnancy hit the Caucasian community there is a reality show about it, I don’t get it. Let me state that I sympathize and empathize with them, but as soon as their young women start being targeted as “Teen Moms” we get a reality show. So to MTV, I think there should be more cultures represented on the show because we all have stories of testimony, and triumph! I wonder if they are referred to as “BABY MOMMA’S,” I seriously doubt it, oh I’m sorry “TEEN MOMS!” Let me state, this article is not about RACE but it’s about justice for all. As I know I have readers from different cultures and backgrounds. Fairness for all, is that too much ask?

P.S. Let’s not forget the term BABY DADDY… let’s dead it! Ugh